Posts Tagged ‘Fear’

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What’s up my fabulous people 🙂

How’s the motivation coming along? Are we all still pumped up from our January 2014 resolutions or have we started to slow down? The good thing is, goals can be set the moment you decide to set them. What I mean is, you don’t have to wait until the start of a new month, the start of a new week or the first thing Monday even – Set them as of when you are ready 🙂

Today I wanted to talk about “Inhibitions” and “Caring”.

I’ll first start of by saying…

At the age of 25 I am finally starting to loose all of my inibitions…It’s about time as well lol

I am a very conscious person and this conscious energy I contain has translated to me as “Nervousness” for many years throughout my childhood to this present day.

The thing is right, I’m a very confident person. I’ve just misunderstood why I’ve felt so self conscious around people all this time…

I’m conscious about my body language when I’m talking to others…

I’m conscious as to how my breath is smelling (Did I eat red onions at lunch?)

I’m conscious to the fact that I may have sleep in my eye and that the person I’m talking to may just be too polite to tell me…

Ohhh, here’s a good one: I had some broccoli at lunch time, do I have green stuff in my teeth lol

I mean, all of the above examples are things we are all conscious of, but in my head I am standing there and over analysing to the point that I’m not fully into the conversation…LOL, yes I have issues I know. So although I’m in the conversation, my mind is elsewhere…

But through my madness I’ve realised that there is a difference between being self conscious and “Caring to much about what others think”

And that my friends leasds me to todays QOTW:

“Never be afraid to be you and to be true – Shine your light bright as only you can do it right”

why

People care what others think about them due to the fear of judgement…

We care what others think so much that we don’t express our true-selves. I know as I “used” to live like that and speak to many others that still do.

This is not true living. Living true to yourself and being free means you are able to express yourself without the fear of  what the next person will say, do or think!

Society has created what it means to be “Normal” and I do not agree with it whatsoever…

Since when does a group of people have the power to create “What it means to be normal”

Being normal is being you…Don’t beleive the hype my people…

But we feel we have to conform to the norm. I’ve stopped conforming and I am now truly living just being myself and NOT what others want me to be, do or act.

And whoever doesn’t like it…Guess what they can go and do…

Actually, we will keep it polite and clean around here lol.

Seriously though…

I don’t mind when I’m called strange or different. Why on earth would I want to live and be like everyone else? What fun comes from “being normal”…

I find that “normal” people are boring and follow along like sheep doing what the rest of society and the population are doing…Hell no!

Where does my individuality then come into place?

Or yours?

I believe that whoever created us also created us to be different. (Hence we all have diffrent finger prints, eye colour, body types etc)

We quite clearly weren’t created to be the same. I mean, let’s look at it from DNA cellular level…We are all biologically made up differently if you want to start talking science.

That being said, I also beleive that we were created to express our individuality and too not judge others on the way they chose to go about living their lives.

(The same way we wouldn’t want to be judged for our differences in thoughts, feelings and emotions)

Nothing is weird or strange to me anymore – Just different.

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For me to call something or someone weird, I’d have to be basing that of something I’ve seen before that wasn’t of the norm to me. So between me and my sub coscious mind we’d interpret it as weird as we don’t get it or understand it.

And this is the problem we humans have today. We reject, judge, criticize and analyse that which we do not know or understand. We will then find another 10 people who agree with our view point and judge that “one person” for being different…I hope you are following me…

Who give’s us the right to do that?

I believe the world would be a better place if we all expressed ourselves in a positive light…

Imagine 10 people making a cake compared to say 20 people?

Now the cake may not necessarily taste nice with the input of 20 people but it sure as hell would be different right…Not something out of the norm…

On the other hand it could be the best tasting cake you’ve ever ate, down to everyone’s creativity, love and freedom to add what tasted good to them…You following me?

We all see life through a different lens based upon our up bringing, past expereinces, pain and joy.

No one person will see anything the same – Maybe in a similar light yes, but never the same.

100 people can read the same book and all translate it differently. This is because we are all special individuals…

Dropping your inibitions takes conscious everyday work – I know as I’m currently going through it and have been doing so for say the last 8 months or so.

I find it does get easier though, so no need to fear. However, simply having this knowledge and not taking action upon it does nothing.

I find that to truely ackonwledge something you have to “act upon the knowledge” hence why it’s called acknowledge(ment).

For example – If you’re a guy and you like the colour pink but you are living in the fear of judgement of what others will think about you, then you my man will never be truly happy.

(Although pink is quite a feminine colour for a man) that is simply just my opinion and not something that you should concern yourself with – You see what I just did there???

Ladies, my beautiful ladies –  So what if someone doesn’t like the shoes you’re wearing: Ask yourself…

Am I wearing these shoes to impress others or am I wearing them for my own happiness and pleasure?

I’m confused as to how we humans even got into this state where we care so much about other peoples opinions of us. I know for sure I wasn’t born like this, you wasn’t born like this, so what’s up???

How did we reach this place in our lives where we care so much?

I say it’s the media, society and the taboo’s we are faced with everyday.

Men feel like their penis isn’t big enough because of mainstream media and the crap that comes with it.

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Women feel they have to wear make up, false hair and nails because the magazines and modelling shows (the media again) say that THIS is how they should look or that THIS is what is in fashion and the “norm” to follow…

We have all been trained to be consumers of designer branding…

iPhone, Samnsung, Louis Vuitton, Nike, Adidas, BMWs, Mercedes…

People feel like their status is highrer than those who cannot afford Gucci or the latest smart phone…WTF?

I smell consumerism…

We live in an ego driven society that I will get deeper into at another time as I don’t want to deviate too much today…

I’m 25 now and I’m no longer holding back on ANYTHING!

It has taken for me to identify some KEY issues within myself  to then discuss the issues with you and too hopefully help you identify and solve them yourself.

You know that song “EXPRESS YOURSELF” – Let’s all make that our new ringtones and alarm clocks until we really get the message lol.

I’ve changed big time over the last 18 months and pretty damn quick too (For the better mind you) This change took place as I wasn’t happy with the way I was living before and knew that I was the only one that could do anything about it…

I am now the first to dance at a party if I feel like dancing. I don’t care about others looking at me like:

“Hey dude, it’s way to early to start dancing”

SAYS WHO???

I dance when I want to dance and ain’t no boddy stopping me. If my song comes on then I’m on the first on the dance floor dropping it like it’s hot baby 😉

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH GUYS – BE YOU, BE TRUE

The moment I stepped on that stage November 9th 2013 and strutted my stuff is the day I said good bye to fear.

It’s the day where I dropped much of my emotional baggage, inhibitions and much needed bull crap which was in the form of:

Others peoples opinion on me, what I looked like etc

afro

Who’s that guy with the Afro?

I got on stage in front of 1800 people in just my underwear and my afro…

(I’m sure that will change anyone actually LOL)

But for real, I had to reach a place where I thought:

You know what, screw what anyone thinks about me…It’s my life, my stage and my time…

And this is the mind set that many of us NEED to adopt to start truly living and enjoying life. Every time you get out there whether it be your place of work, the local shops or anywhere in general…Just remember that:

It’s your stage and your life…

Now like I said above – It will take a lot of work and effort to drop your inhibitions as we have been living like this our WHOLE lives. The older you are the more work you MAY have to do…

However, I promise you that it does get easier…

It’s either that or live and not be 100% happy…

It’s Your life, Your choice and Your free will…

Much Love and Peace to you all

NAMSTE

David Richards

DEE’S FITNESS

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inspirational-quote-try-again-thomas-edison

Hello Hello Hello,

It feel’s good to be back to writing the “Quote of the week post”. It’s the one time I get to really open up and get creative. I think the last one I wrote was over 12 weeks ago now, when I started going head deep into my competition prep for the WBFF show. Since then I’ve done a few post here and there for some up keep and maintenance, but most of my energy and attention was directed towards the prep.

A lot of you don’t know as it was a last minute decision but 2 weeks after the WBFF show I actually entered another competition. This time round it was the Miami Pro show.  I was in two minds whether to enter or not as I didn’t feel mentally prepared as I did for the WBFF.

The reason for this was, I had started enjoying chocolate and the little delights of life and I suppose this threw me off a little as I never touch sweets or anything like that whilst dieting.

My train was delayed on my way to the show and I knew I was going to be late for the registration and thought that may affect me from entering and maybe I should turn back. I started telling myself that it was a sign for me not to enter and that I should go home – Funny the excuses we come up with when our heart isn’t into something…

I didn’t place top 5 unfortunately but got some cool photo’s I think you’ll like and genuinely had a brilliant time 🙂

Anyway…

Enough about me, how are you guys?

It seem’s like everyone is jumping on the fitness bandwagon one by one now…I love it.

People are setting goals, dreaming big and making stuff happen…Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Everyone is trying to keep motivated, positive and improve their current situation whatever it may be…

But I know how it is…Staying motivated is hard!

If it was easy, we would all be motivated and procrastination wouldn’t have the slightest chance of breathing.

So what do we do when we loose motivation?

We loose focus. And what happens when we loose focus?

We loose sense of direction and if we have no direction we don’t know where we are going and this leads to the road of giving up.

And this my friends bring’s me to todays quote of the week:

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time”

Please allow me to share a story with you…It has been kept secret up until now and only a small handful of people know…If that…

Back when I was 17 I started learning how to drive. I passed my theory test the day after my 17th birthday and was fired up to hit the roads. I already had my provisional license so it was just a case of getting the money together to start taking some lessons.

Before I booked lessons with a driving school my Dad took me out on the road for some 1st timers experience…What a bad idea (bless him)

We’d argue left right and centre because he would tell me to check my mirrors after I’d already checked them and then we’d get into this little madness going back and fourth and LOL…What drama…

Anywhoo, at this point we decided it was a good idea for me to start taking some “professional” driving lessons. I booked up with a driving school and not to long until I was back on the roads…

I practised and I practised, week after week , grinding session after session, practising my 3 point turns, reverse parking, finding the braking point properly…When I say I was going hard, trust me, I wasn’t playing lol

Both the instructor and I felt that I was ready for the test and he gave me the thumbs up to proceed 🙂 Fun times right…

So test day is here, I wake up in the morning fully psyched up, pumped and rearing to go.

I get to the test centre, fill out all the paper work (still pumped up and rearing to go) get into the car, start the engine and BAM!

I TURN INTO A NERVOUS WRECK…O DEAR

If your heart and mind is racing as fast as he is, then you my friend may want to slow down lol

If your heart and mind is racing as fast as he is, then you my friend may want to slow down lol

Left turns become right turns, 3 point checks become something you’ve never heard of, my heart starts racing quicker than Usain Bolt at the Olympics lol…I became a right mess.

It’s safe to say I failed that day…

I think you fail if you get more than 10 minors mark downs and 1 serious mark down…

Well my friends, I must of received something like 20 minor mark downs and 5 serious mark downs LOL

Maybe that’s exaggerating, but it was pretty bad though.

Anyway, it was back to the drawing board and I continued on with more lessons (and more money). I continued grinding until the driving   instructor gave me the thumbs up again.

So I’m back at the test centre 2nd time round, this time with much less anxiety and feeling a lot more confident.

I know I made a few hiccup during the test but still felt I had done OK…

HOW WRONG WAS I…

I failed again – But 2nd time round it hurt much more….

I wanted my independence to drive myself. Taking bus and going to college at the time was a long and costly journey for me and I calculated that it would work out cheaper for me to drive their back an fourth everyday…

On top of that, I had built up my expectations on passing and people around me helped add fuel to my expectations…

You see, I had my 1st car at 17 and I use to drive around with my parents once I was test ready. For some last minute practice. I’d have friends or family members in the car at the time who would also agree I was a good driver, so you can imagine my ego and confidence was running in over drive.

At the test centre after hearing the bad news, I met another driving instructor from the AA who asked what I failed on. I told him and he said:

“Sometimes nerves just get the better of you – It doesn’t mean that you’re not ready, it just means that you need to relax and believe in yourself some more”

My Dad was around and we both agreed that it was about time I switched driving instructors and who better than Mr “AA”  aka Mr “Guru” lol .So I exchanged details with Mr “AA” and I thought to myself at the time:

“This is it – 3rd time lucky and this guy seems pretty cool”.

So back to the lab (more money) and I’m fully in Rocky Baboa mode at this point. I refused to loose. I was a pretty good driver already, so we would just go through maneuverers and drive around round-abouts which was my weak point at the time.

My problem for not passing then was that I allowed nerves and anxiety to consume me…

But I continued fighting on and booked up for my 3rd and what I thought was going to be my final test, but would you believe I failed AGAIN…

I cried when I got home and I’m sure I had a few shots of vodka…

My soul was crushed guys. I was hurting and I was hurting real bad. Being 17 at the time, I saw myself as a failure…I was about ready to throw in the towel. I failed for something stupid like indicating too early. Even the instructor agreed that it wasn’t fair and should of been marked down as a minor rather a serious, but o well, it was what it was…

No more lessons were needed –  It was just a case of getting another test booked in as soon as possible and getting that green card upgraded to a pinkie (provisional license to full license)

I booked for my fourth test and I can’t remember exactly what had happened but I failed again…THAT WAS IT! I’m done for!

The fear of failure

The fear of failure

I was a naughty boy and started driving behind my parent’s back. I had enough of sentences starting with:

“I’m sorry to say” OR

“Unfortunately” OR

“On this occasion I’m”

I was threw with it…

I allowed my frustration and pain to consume me and lead me to act irresponsibly…

At 17 I wasn’t a man, but I was fully aware of what I was doing…I was driving illegally…

My conscience kicked in and tried to help me to do the right thing but my pain was stronger than my conscience at the time and I continued driving…

One day reality kicked and I said to myself:

“Dave…Driving illegally makes you a failure even though you get the freedom of driving, you do know that don’t you –  But by taking your test, even if you don’t pass, that doesn’t make you a failure because your facing your fear of failing” Woah…

When I talk to myself like that I really don’t feel like it’s me talking to me lol but anyway…

I went for my 5th test and BOOM – I passed…

For those who watch Family Guy, I felt like Stewie when he does the happy dance lol

For those who watch Family Guy, I felt like Stewie when he does the happy dance lol

For 7 years I’ve kept this story confidential for fear of others judging me but after facing my fears and stepping on stage this year, not once, but twice, I’ve learn t to let go of the emotional baggage that comes along with caring what others think about you. Through sharing this story with you, I’ve let go of another layer of emotional baggage that I’ve been carrying around for so long.

I can’t tell people to “Not care what others think about them” and be the same one to sit here not living life through my own words. Don’t get me wrong, to an extent we will always have a care to some degree, but it’s letting go of that care emotionally and not letting it affect your day to day life.

People don’t face their fears due to the the fear of a failure itself. It’s like that movie Inception with Leonardo Di Caprio when they was in a dream within a dream, only this time your trapped in a fear within a fear…Now that’s deep!

Sidetracked…

The moral of the overall story if you hadn’t guessed it already is NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER MAKE GIVING UP AN OPTION! NEVER GIVE UP ON GIVING UP (THIS ONLY APPLIES TO BAD HABBITS)

Through giving up, the option of failure becomes your only option…

You give birth to failure! You and only you! Why give birth to such an option?

Life isn’t hard…We make it hard. We as humans complicate things unnecessarily. I’ve learn’t a lot this year and will share everything I’ve learn t with you if I feel it will benefit you in some way.

Now I have to read all this back and spell check it and hope the punctuation is OK LOL.

Do forgive me for the spelling mistakes and punctuation. I hope you feel the energy behind the message and the LOVE that I am sending out to you all.

The quote that based today’s Quote of the Week is from my man:

Thomas A Edison and yours truly

MR DEE’S FITNESS

It feels good to be back baby…

Making my dreams a reality by never giving up - Failure is not an option for me or YOU!

Making my dreams a reality by never giving up – Failure is not an option for me or for YOU!